Sharing Intimacy and AcroYoga
“Wait a minute, I don’t know if I can do this. Maybe we should just stop doing Acro! No, that’s not the answer…” thoughts racing through my head like a cheetah full speed in an open field. Heart pumping fast, in sink with the surges of adrenaline rushing through the body. “Take a breath” I think to myself, “calm down, there’s no need to rush off with these reactions.” I’m upset and reacting to my partner because I’m struggling with a certain move we are working on, really, I’m struggling with communicating. At this point, it would probably be a good time to take a break, and just relax for a minute, but the rational thinking train already left at least 3 minutes ago, so of course I ask to try again.
Not happy, but willing, she agrees and we give it another shot. Standing by the ocean, a light breeze makes her hair softly dance around, we take a breath, she bends and jumps into the air. I position my hands, lift up reposition my right hand, extend, extend, extend. She’s tight, she’s light, she’s up…and she’s down. Another failed attempt, and I can feel the energy roll through my body. “Lets take a break.” she says, calm but clearly firm at the same time. I know she’s on to something, so I walk away, still grumbling with myself.
2 Relationships, 1 Lover
As long as we have been dating, my partner and I have been doing AcroYoga together. I was just getting into it when we met, and she had already had about 2 or 3 years experience. What that really translated to is she was a good experienced flyer, who showed a lot of patience with me as a novice base. Also, it gave me the ability to achieve success in our training at a fast rate, her skills leaning over to help improve mine. I’m very thankful to her for that, and realize that it has helped my practice a lot.
Thing is, I didn’t always see it like that in moments of frustration. I would be more concerned with achieving success, and reacting to why we were having trouble. “I need you to do this” I would say, thinking that would make everything better. Silly me, forgetting in those moments that it is a partner practice. How easy though, to forget about that when you are caught up with blame or focused on the end result instead of the connection and journey. One of our reactions would trigger the defenses of the other, then the snake of confusion would bite.
Most of the time, I would not feel heard, trying to express what I thought was the problem. I believe she would feel the same, expressing herself, but not being listened to…or heard. Funny, how we can mirror things for each other, both experiencing the same thing but struggling to connect. Does it complicate things that we are intimate partners as well as Acro partners?
It’s A Complicated and Complimenting Practice
Really, I feel that the two can compliment each other wonderfully. The fact is, we both care for each other, and all relationships– Acro, work, personal, take willingness and care from all parties involved. Our relationship outside of Acro is really amazing, in fact we have joked how Acro is sometimes the area we struggle with the most in our relationship. It’s true, we have had a few moments of communication break down in our Acro practice. My love of her as a person and the love of our connection is the reason I am willing to sit down and take a look at what is really going on. Pause, breath, find strength through our love to approach the challenge with an open heart. The patience, communication, and trust Acro teaches transfers over to the intimate relationship. Acro reminds me that when you are engaged with someone, to be fully present. To take the time needed to allow both parties to feel trust. So you see, they help each other, if you let them.
Every challenging communication experience we have had with Acro, has been followed by a conversation that has led to a deeper connection in both our Acro and intimate relationship. I remember how good it felt, on one occasion when we were able to express ourselves and really understand what the other person was feeling. I needed her to remember that I had only been doing Acro for a year at that point, and would love some patience. She needed me to remember that she had been doing Acro for many years and would love if her opinion could be heard and respected. It was a real heart connection, both of us taking time to really see what the other was struggling with. Also, it really helped me to listen to her and trust her knowledge.
I believe that sharing an interest with a partner is special, being able to share laughs and over come challenges is a blessing. The ability to love someone with all the different experiences that present themselves is magic. The true treasure is that I get to share two dynamic relationships with one lover. When I see her smile, it lights up my heart with ecstatic energy. The bumps in the road we experience are the character of the journey, the emotion in the colors of the sunset. I’m very happy to have a beautiful co-traveler to bend and play with on this intimate Acro and life adventure. Thanks for taking the time to read this, and many blessings on all your partner adventures!